So I'm standing in JB Hifi on Easter Saturday waiting for my pre-order of The Bennies new album Wisdom Machine and Violent Soho's Waco which had been released a week earlier. JB had a Good Friday sale of 20% off CD's and me being a stingy person thought I would make the most of this, but I had to wait an entire 24 hours until I was able to nourish my auditory senses.
Cut to the chase already, we're here for the review, not your life story.
The WACO Album tour went on sale and I didn't take action. Then faster than you can say Violent Death Rats, it was sold out accross the nation. I had witnessed VS already at Laneway Festival in Melbourne a few months earlier. But I had tasted the blood and wanted more.
My first reaction was to go into full FOMO mode and put an ad on Gumtree to see if any loser would give up a single ticket. No luck. Had one guy try sell me 3 tickets to the Saturday show, but I didn't care for Saturday. Monday was on my mind.
One month later...
Ticketing companies are the worst (Ok, Jetstar is the worst). They have 'handling' fees that are unnecessary prices like $8.75, but worse yet they say a show is sold out when it isn't. Lucky I still had a sense of urgency to secure a ticket. I went on to Ticketmaster and selected the ticket I wanted to buy. In the fleeting moments to follow, I waited thinking I would see 'Sorry, there are no tickets matching your request'. But not today. 1x General Admission Ticket was available. I'm sure there were others, but this one had Edward James written on it.
SOLD. So I'm on my way now.
I have to drive because it is a Monday night and I live 113km away from the Forum and the trains stop running towards my city after 10.30pm. Doesn't matter. Don't even care. In several hours I will be covered in both my and hundreds of other people's sweat.
I'm here early. It's 5.30pm and the doors don't open until 7 and even then the first band, The Gooch Palms, don't start until 7.20pm. Lord of the Fries is 2 minutes away, so dinner is sorted. I walk around Hosier Lane hoping to find some Banksy-esque figure spray painting dicks on the walls, but no luck. Just some guy recording a rap video.
Waiting in line lasted all of 10 minutes and now I'm inside. I don't want merch. Or a beer. For some reason, I want to sit down. The Gooch Palms come and go. Good performance. They requested that no one throws their shoes at Dune Rats. It seems like a reasonable request. Deal.
I get a beer. $8 for a can of Boags. I know, right?
Dune Rats are on. The crowd starts to bubble. I know at least 4 songs.
DZ Deathrays come on. I once passed up seeing them, but have only heard good things. They walk on stage to the Game of Thrones theme song and the drummer was wearing a DIO t-shirt so I knew it was going to be a treat. I know at least 2 songs.
The final break between sets.
I have found a black Converse shoe which I proceed to hold in the air for 10 minutes before deciding it needs to sit on the bar until someone claims it.
I'm surprised the crowd hasn't packed up to the stage yet. Do they know something I don't? Why am I only 4 rows from the very front of what is apparently a SOLD OUT show? I quickly remember I don't care because Violent Soho are finally on. Bang!
"She Said. To Kick It Through The Middle..."
They open with 'How To Taste' the first track off the WACO album. Luke Boerdam's distinctive voice fills a familiar void in my ears. Instead this time I'm a spectator and not yelling along in my car alone.
I soon realise why no one bothered to move towards the front. I'm already 25 metres back from where I started. The crowd got hectic fast. It doesn't take long for me to work my way forward only to be caught by several rogue elbows and the casual kick to the face by a crowd surfer unit.
I find a phone on the ground and put it in my pocket. I hope someone tries to call because I have no intention of keeping it.
The set goes on and the crowd starts to fatigue. There doesn't seem to be too many athletic types in here, so it's not a surprise. Dope Calypso and Covered in Chrome round out the night and the lights go up.
It's a wrap. I'm exhausted, sweaty and temporarily deaf.
I stand to one side of the broken plastic cup laden floor waiting from someone to call this phone.
No luck. A security guard asks me to move towards the front door.
As I stand near the front door, and a missed call shows up on this phone! I manage to get on to this mystery caller, which turns out to be a young guy and his mate, who owns the phone.
My good deed is done. The missing phone owner thanks me and calls me a 'legend'. He then jokingly says "If only you had found my shoe too!" whilst pointing to his black sock.
On his other foot is a black Converse.
"Well...", I begin.
- Here is a 56 second movie that wraps this up a lot better -